As some of you know, I am currently in the process of trying to get assessed for autism and ADHD. There can be a lot of overlap between the two and getting assessed for anything is proving pretty difficult. So I figured I would put some things down in writing and share them with you.
Sometimes I might talk about the logistical aspects of trying to get a diagnosis, at other times I will talk about my frustrations. These posts will receive minimal editing or even prior thought. Some of you might know this feeling: If I know I have to put a lot of work and thought into it, it won’t happen, and I have too many other projects that need actual work and thought.
To start us off, here are some things medical professionals and mental health professionals have said to me when I told them I might be autistic or have ADHD:
„Yeah, I don’t see it.“
„But you make eye contact.“
„But you talk!“
Another thing that is always implied, but rarely said out loud is this: „But you’re a woman“ (I’m not, but I am AFAB and read as a woman by professionals). It’s incredibly frustrating to be told over and over again that my lived experience cannot possibly be my lived experience. That it’s „just anxiety“. That it „can’t be that bad“ because I succeeded in school. I seem „normal“.
This leaves me in a difficult place. I know my lived experience. I know how joyful it can be, and how debilitating. I’m struggling to find a new therapist, not only because waiting lists are full, but also because I have to find a therapist who is LGBTQ+ friendly, who might respect my gender, who works with traumatised clients, and who will respect my wish for an autism assessment and won’t dismiss my stimming as „you seem nervous“.
And because I struggle with endings, I will just say „Welcome to Fun Neurodivergent Things. I promise it will get better“.